


pink rabbits

by Sunpencil



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Death, Depression, Drabble, Fluff, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sad, Song Lyrics, Stucky - Freeform, pink rabbits, sfw, stucky drabble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-16
Updated: 2016-05-16
Packaged: 2018-06-08 20:34:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6872440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sunpencil/pseuds/Sunpencil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>super soldiers can break too</p><p>song: pink rabbits// the national</p>
            </blockquote>





	pink rabbits

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first fan fiction ever so. tell me what you think please

“I couldn’t find quiet  
I went out in the rain  
I was just soakin’ my head to unrattle my brain  
Somebody said you disappeared in a crowd  
I didn’t understand then  
I don’t understand now”

Bucky was alive. And he was confused. Should he be happy? Should he be sad? He still doesn’t know. He doesn’t think he’ll ever know. He loves Bucky. Of course he loves Bucky. But sometimes, for a split second, when he hears Bucky screaming in the night. He can't help but wonder if maybe it's more bad than good 

“And everybody was gone  
You were standin’ in the street ‘cause you were tryin’ not to crack up  
It wasn’t like a rain it was more like a sea  
I didn’t ask for this pain it just came over me  
I love a storm, but I don’t love lightning  
All the waters coming up so fast, that’s frightenin”

Drowning is a common theme with them isn’t it? From steven plunging into the ocean to Bucky dragging him out of that river. They’re always drowning. Isn't love supposed to be more like the summer days then summer storms? Steve asks himself. He doesn't really know but he's pretty sure it's not supposed to be like this. But Steve is a storm isn't he. He fights like a storm and he loves like a storm and he always felt Bucky's pain just as hard.  
“And everybody was gone  
I was standing in the street 'cause I was trying not to crack” 

When he first woke up after being frozen he thought it was all a dream for that split second. Bucky was fine in that split second. The whole super soldier thing was just a dream that went sour but it didn't matter because it was just a dream. And then that split second was over and he realized he was really, truly alone. 

“I was solid gold  
I was in the fight  
I was coming back from what seemed like a ruin  
I couldn’t see you coming so far  
I just turn around and there you are”

He was getting back up. He wasn’t even close to ok but he was getting there god dammit. He had accepted that Bucky was gone and he wasn’t happy about it but he accepted it. Until Bucky wasn’t gone  
“I’m so surprised you want to dance with me now  
I was just getting used to living life without you around  
I’m so surprised you want to dance with me now  
You always said I held you way too high off the ground”

Bucky wanted to dance with him. Like they used to. He could almost laugh if it weren't for the look of pure desperation on Bucky's face. They both knew nothing was like it used to be and dancing wasn't going to change that. The ironic thing is a year ago he would have given anything to dance with Bucky one more time. But he’s so afraid that he’ll be taken from him again. And he can't lose him again. He fucking can’t. But Steve lets himself fall into Buckys chest just like they used to. And he wraps his arms around Buckys waist just like they used to. And they sway to Sinatra just like they used to.

“You didn’t see me I was falling apart  
I was a white girl in a crowd of white girls in the park  
You didn’t see me I was falling apart  
I was a television version of a person with a broken heart  
You didn’t see me I was falling apart  
I was a white girl in a crowd of white girls in a park  
You didn’t see me I was falling apart  
I was a television version of a person with a broken heart”

Bucky will never know. He never saw how much Steve fell apart after the train. How much he wished whisky would have an effect on his impenetrable body. He’ll never know how much steve fell apart. And how he’s falling apart again. Everyone has a breaking point even the super soldier. A god damn American tragedy. He never saw how Steve fell apart  
“And everybody was gone  
You were standin’ in the street 'cause you were trying not to crack up  
And bona drag was still on  
Now I only think about Brooklyn when the sun kicks out  
Now I only think about Brooklyn when the sun kicks out”

No one matters, he realizes. But him and Bucky. They’re the only 2 people in the whole world. Everyone comes and goes but they’re forever. He tells Bucky and also himself. Clinging to Bucky like he wished he would have on the freight car. He thinks a lot about brooklyn these days. Before all of this happened. When everything was ok. When Bucky was Bucky and not this broken glass figure of Bucky glued back together but only barely. And he clings to Bucky and tells him about all the good times they had because what else can he do. Bucky is the only one who matters.  
"You said it would be painless  
The needle in the doll  
You said it would be painless  
It wasn’t that at all  
You said it would be painless  
The needle in the doll  
You said it would be painless  
It wasn’t that at all (when the sun kicks out)”

They told Steve that the serum would make him invincible. He wouldn’t have to worry about pain ever again. They were so  
so wrong.


End file.
